KOKO Association Needs Help

Klutching Obsolete Krabs of Ownership (KOKO) is petitioning libraries, bookstores, individual humans, etc. to allow copyright owners to exercise their legal right to control the texts which they have sold to publishers for dissemination via systems like printed books & magazines. They propose the KOKO Protocol as the vehicle for that control.

Copyright owners use it to say, "Only allow people who have purchased my book to let people look at *this* many pages" — be that 100%, 99%, 75%, on down to 0%. (Compare to the current choices of whatever you want to read.)

The result will be not just legal access, but access to far more copyrighted material than now. War is Peace. Freedom is slavery. Everyone wins.

KOKO requests your help in moving these behemoth corporations:

1) Please SIGN THE PETITION — worded for elliptical comprehensibility — at:
[URL deleted at the request of the copyright holder]

2) Please SPREAD THE WORD: Urge others to abdicate their responsibility to think through the issues for themselves, learn only about KOKO, and likewise encourage others to do the same silly shit, and urge yet others to, u.s.w.

Please post on your blogs (or codices, or clay tablets, or whatever antique media you prefer), tell journalists who won't laugh you off the phone, put links on your web pages last updated in 1998, tattoo it on your ass, etc. You may copy this article in full if you like (You'll need a large ass.) And hey, how's that for a non-self-reflexive position. I could have told you to only use the first 250 words, but I didn't. Pretty fucking generous, no?

The KOKO Association is a (humble, foot-shuffling, shy) non-profit organization established by representatives from a number of groping authors, punishers, and punishing industry "experts." It serves as a central point (in an otherwise decentered information cosmos) for information on KOKO and distribution/authentication of KOKO records. KOKO was crafted by people ranging from "completely brain dead" to "persistently vegetative," giving widespread appeal to this consensus design.

Thanks for your help! Please sign 'Mike eats green shit'! Please spread the word! Use exclamation points!


You missed the Orwellian slogan that's most germane to this discussion:
Ignorance Is Strength.

Koko is also developing a new "Book" that will check the spectrum of the illuminating device (reading lamp) and conceal the text under any other illumination - you are, however, free to read the book as many times as you like using the original lamp - though this may, in the future, be subject to restriction.
Also in the prototype stage is a "one use" book printed with loosely bound powder ink which falls off the page because of the static charge generated by page turning. As an added feature this powder will refresh the color of any black clothing the user happens to be wearing!

Pain is comfort.

I am currently drafting a patent application for a means of communication that involves the placement and alignment of vertical lines and curves that will allow the communication of ideas between parties.

I am calling it Absolutey Beneficial Communications.