It doesn't happen all that often, but now and then I write a letter to the editor. I try to restrain myself, since nothing is more of a joke than those cranks who show up in the Sakonnet Times, week after week, flogging their hobby-horses. But once in a while, something just gets up my nose, like the letter Town Councilor Tailgunner Gleason had in the paper last week clarifying her position on tolls. Yeah, I wrote the the following response, then had second thoughts about sending it in to the paper. It felt too snarky for print. But that's no reason not to share it with you, loyal readers...

To the editor:
Portsmouth Town Councilor Karen Gleason's letter in last week's Sakonnet Times made me laugh out loud, and not in a good way. What provoked the chuckle was Gleason's description of her position at the December 17th meeting with the RI Dept. of Transportation discussing the Sakonnet River Bridge. Here's what she said in her letter:

"Let me reassure you I did not support a $4 toll that evening."

Politicians know the value of the overly-specific denial. In the classic "Pepsi Syndrome" skit from Saturday Night Live, Jimmy Carter is turned into The Amazing Colossal President by nuclear radiation, and the press corps is badgering his spokesman for details. This clip says it all:

Reporter #1: Is it true that the President is 100 feet tall?
Spokesman: Nooooo! Absolutely not!
Reporter #3: Is the President 90 feet tall?
Spokesman: No comment.
— Via SNLTranscripts.jt.org

Gleason may think she's reassuring the public by denying the $4 number, but here's what she said at the meeting:

"I would not object to a toll on this bridge if I thought it was going to be taken care of."

And when Rep. Ray Gallison — who introduced legislation to prevent tolls from being reinstated on the Mount Hope Bridge — took exception to Gleason's proposal, she went further, talking about the tolls there:

"I think the tolls were taken down for political reasons. In my opinion we should have kept them."

So at the meeting in question, not only did Ms. Gleason support tolls for the Sakonnet Bridge, but she also said they should still be in place on Mount Hope. I didn't hear anyone at the recent meeting with the RI Turnpike and Bridge Authority (RITBA) take that position: Not the public, not other members of the Town Council, not our state legislative delegation, not the representative from Patrick Kennedy's office.

And as for turning the new bridge over to the RITBA — which Gleason argues in her letter could provide "much better maintenance?" This is the same RITBA that just came to Town Hall begging for toll increases to meet a $220M shortfall. Does Ms. Gleason think that's going to be solved by her proposed toll of "25 cents?" Or maybe, we should ask her, "How about $3.99?"

I know, I know. "No comment."

John G. McDaid
Portsmouth