A vision in a dream: finally seeing the TRUTH

I've been wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. I finally woke up this morning, April 1, with a clear picture of our everyday life in America, and why things have gotten so far off the rails.

I had a dream last night, and the PCC's Larry Fitzmorris and RISC's Harry Staley appeared to me in a vision wearing spandex superhero costumes (nothing gay; Dan Gordon was right there watching to make sure nothing "sexed up" was going on) and they handed me NEWSLETTERS containing wisdom, whose nuggets of TRUTH magically appeared, in the dream, throughout the day on talk radio, in the ProJo, and on Facebook posts by DINOs.

And the scales fell from my eyes.

The problem in America is not that giant corporations with two initials pay no taxes, it's that working people like teachers and cops have gold-plated benefits. Benefits that we the taxpayers fund, contrary to anything those whiners say about benefits being a portion of total compensation.

The problem is not aimless wars draining trillions from the economy, it's entitlement programs. Seriously, do you really think the cost of ten years of military misadventure begins to come close to what we pay in unemployment or RIteCare? Do the math. (I tried to, in the dream, but when they handed me a calculator, it kept saying 2+2=5.)

The problem with our education system is not that we don't attract, develop, and retain excellent teachers, it's that unions keep us from firing those few bad apples that insidiously (and magically) destroy the effectiveness of everyone. Everyone. And everything. In the dream, I discovered that my toaster was broken. "It's because of the unions," said the Voice of RISC. And I looked in the toaster, and there was Pat Crowley. And he was smiling.

The problem is not regressive tax schemes that put the burden on homeowners, it's that business, the engine of our economy, is being taxed out of the state (along with the wealthy, who I saw stomping haughtily off when a strange, sibilant voice hissed the magic phrase, "To whomever much is given, of them will much be required.") In the dream, the newspapers of the state rose up as one, and cast aside the canons of journalism to offer voice to the businesses who were being taxed to oblivion. (That's how I knew it was a dream; in real life, the fourth-estate guardians of the public trust, the last line of defense the people have against being manipulated, would never do such a thing.)

And the two superheroes flew me around the state, pointing out all the problems that were caused by the divisive ex-Republican Governor, the flood of illegal immigrants, the master lever, collective bargaining, George Caruolo, ObamaCare, unfunded mandates, the death tax, ACORN, SEIU, the NLRB, teacher tenure, same-sex marriage, the ACLU, public employee pensions, unemployment benefits, business taxes, public sector unions, wind turbines, wastewater regulations, and arsenic. And in the dream, everything was in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS to prove that it was TRUE.

And I woke up, and it was April 1, so I just had to PASS ALONG THE TRUTH TO YOU.

And I placed a top on the table, and spun it. And it spun, and spun, and spun.



Now you finally understand the fundamental principle: to whomever much is given, of them will much be required. You have been given the TRUTH. And the TRUTH shall set you (tax) FREE.

Happy April 1st.

the top falls over and stops after the cut to black. ;)

No, no no!
John, you are not seeing the big picture. All of the problems in your dream pale in comparison to the problem of how we are going to rationalize going to sit on the seawall and enjoy Flo's astonishing clam cakes knowing that they are cooked up less than a hundred yards from the most toxic dump site on earth. Oh, the horror. The solution of course is to get some of our scientist friends to demonstrate that high-temperature cooking oil will break down the arsenic flying about into fairy dust and old bay seasoning. case closed, sleep soundly at night.

We can have our clam cakes and eat them too,