Council Meeting of the Iguana

091214_iguana.jpg
There's no way to describe just how incredibly huge I am...(confused? see MST3K)

There was a hearing at last night's Portsmouth Town Council on the proposed "Dangerous Animals Ordinance," which had already been through a couple of runs past the council, and was up for a final tweak and vote. But nothing — and I mean nothing — is simple with some people. And when Dame Judy Staven got to the microphone to question whether the enumeration of dangerous animals was properly written, the Town Solicitor Andre D'Andrea had to explain that items set off by commas are parallel and that "domesticated snake, monkey, chimp" (as a list of banned animals) did not, in fact, imply the distribution of domestication across all the other terms. Okay, whew, we got that sorted. Maybe there could be a quick vote here...

"Would you add large iguanas?" Councilor Tailgunner Gleason popped in suddenly. "They're very scary."

So the Council hauled Portsmouth Police Chief Lance Hebert up to the podium, and he talked about the Federal and State guidelines for animals which are considered unsuitable, and reassured the Council that the proposed ordinance was actually an extension and amplification. But as to adding language specifically about iguanas, the Chief wondered, "Well, where do we stop?"

"Right about here, I hope," muttered Councilor Jeff Plumb.

But that was not to happen.

"I've seen four-foot iguanas," said Gleason. "It's not something you want to sit next to."

The Council called the question and Gleason's motion to amend the ordinance failed, 4-1, with her the lone vote in support. Then, when the Council proceeded to vote on the original motion to approve the ordinance, she said, "I'm going to make it 4-1" and voted against it.

She didn't get her iguanas. She didn't support an ordinance to protect people from other vicious critters.

I mean, really. Look at those lizards. What else could possibly be that scary?

Okay. I can think of one thing.

Editorial note: This is the first of several posts on last night's Council meeting. It ran reeeeelly late.

Comments

As one who was at the council meeting last night I think that this post really shows what the beginning of the meeting was like Good job John but the best is yet to come.

But as always I did want to get the whole story so I did some research on Iguanas. They are one of the most popular lizards to be kept as a pet and though they do get semi-large in length they only get on average 11 pounds and if they have been cared for just like any other animal they will be a good loyal pet not a scary monster as they were portrayed at the meeting last night.

Portsmouth Pride

This blog post could have been titled "the night of the iguana" if someone else had not already used it, how unfortunate.

ggump

Nice shot. Is'nt he/she a cutie?

Is this the same one having to do with inadvertent or purposefully allowing peanuts on the ground for squirrels, bird seeds for non-migratory birds, corn husks landing in a neighbor's yard who will be subject to $250-500 fine in violation of the ordinance, corn stalks in the backyard being consumed by crows, falcons attacking mice due to mice on the ground trying to reach bird feed, rats in the neighborhood during harvest season attracting coyotes visible from the road, is that the one?
Who in the world is pushing this to the level of a town council and why are they unable to "just say no"? Say no because the TC is way too busy solving Portsmouth's problems. How about the litter on the road every morning with remnants of McDonald French fries and Dunkin sweet doughnuts? Will we hire extra staff to write the ordinance and police to inspect the community for violators, and that way bring in added revenue?
What did one Canadian customs agent say about the "Gestapo"? Am I overreacting? Yes, I admit, but I react to bureaucratic nonsense when common sense can prevail. I'm sure our TC has common sense, but who are they fearing? Where is the threat coming from, homeland security alert, some ethnic extremists, environmental terrorists?

Again, what is the value added, can someone explain please?

Thanks,
Werrnerlll

Hi, Werner...
My understanding is that these are two separate ordinances -- the outdoor feeding regulation to discourage coyotes is something different. This law is the direct result of last summer's python brouhaha (ha ha ha) covered here in "Get these monkeyfighting snakes off my monday to friday street." Following that episode — which got wildly overblown by TV crews on a slow news day — the Council discovered they had nothing on the books about exotic animals as pets.

The intent of this legislation is good; it is a legitimate public safety issue that Town government should concern itself with. You only have to look at our neighboring Connecticut, where a woman was mauled severely by a chimpanzee earlier this year.

But personally, I think there's a big difference between chimps and inguanas. Chimps are intelligent tool-using predators who have a documented history of killing and eating human babies. While it is true that a provoked iguana can deliver a painful bite, the same can be said of dogs and cats.

Best Regards.
-j

Thanks for enlightening me J, but my opinion still stands regarding "that other one" if it is still alive.
Yes, survival and seeing Homo sapiens as rivals and competitors in the battle for survival seems part of our planet's evolution. I think turn-around is fair game (in the jungle) if chimps end up as "bush meat" and when there is nothing left. Predator against predator is part of each species' DNA. See bears, gorillas, lions, etc. who see man as a threat rather than a meal.
Man is the cruelest animal on the planet and nothing will stand in its way justified by reference to a supernatural entity. We still execute each other even to the point of cannibalism. Seemingly a phenomena since before the 10K-year old Neanderthals and even before Lucie over some four million years ago. If man survives the climate change, perhaps humans will eventually become civilized, but my sense is that some other species is more likely to take over. Everyone gets their turn to dominate the earth.

Aren't you glad you started the Blog?

Cheers (I think),
Wernerlll

As the daughter of a herpetologist, and as somebody who just found out she was allergic to dogs, and whose allergist suggested snake or fish as pets, I have to say I dislike animal restriction ordinances that dump broad families of the animal kingdom. An entire blanket ban on snakes? Ridiculous. (Most states have reasonable lists of which species can co-exist with humans safely and which can be sold in pet stores.)

My dad had to fight to get the term "constrictor" removed from local snake restrictions because almost all non-poisonous snakes ARE constrictors. Many small, non-endangered snakes make great pets for households that can not take cat, dog, rodent, or birds for allergic reasons. Many rat snakes and kingsnakes and the small pythons (ball pythons) would be perfectly safe inside the community. (As beautiful as the large boas are, they can grow to a size that does make them hard for a single adult to deal with on their own, and probably should be restricted to zoos, schools, and other animal conservation organisations.)

Iguanas are a little tricky, because they can grow to large sizes, given their cage area. (They are kinda like goldfish that way, although many will sorta halt growth around 4-5 feet. But they can and will get bigger and it's cruel to keep their cage size down to keep them smaller.) They are vegetarian so I don't know why lady was so freaked out by the idea of them. (Well, maybe the salmonella issue. Is a problem for snakes too. But it's not a problem any worse than, say, handling cat feces via litter.) I would still allow iguanas because unlike the large boas and pythons, there's not a feeding instinct, or anything that will turn on you. Having an iguana is about as dangerous as keeping a parrot. Which is to say that if you mishandle it, it can claw you or scratch you or accidentally bite you, but it's probably not going to accidentally or purposefully endanger your life. (Anybody who thinks a parrot is a perfectly safe animal needs to watch out for their thumbs. Parrot jaws can bite with a pressure of 300 pounds per square inch, or some horrifying statistic like that.)

Thing is, a lot of reptiles get the shaft as pets, because they aren't "furry" or "cute" or whatever. They are as dangerous as any other household pet, but you just have to know what the issues are. All living creatures under our care should be taken care of and properly fed and housed and respected. It just irks me to see blanket bans on species when other species have just as much diversity and relative danger, but are considered "cute".

...she sings from somewhere you can't see...

Hi, Pixelfish...
Agree completely. I'd much prefer an iguana to a rat, which you can buy as a pet in Rhode Island without question. Nothing against rats. I just think iguanas are more interesting. They're a lot smarter than people generally suspect. They just don't have the baby-like eye-to-head-size ratio of cats or the neotenous wolf behavior we prize in dogs.

Although I can see how some would disagree. One of Carl Sagan's woolier hypotheses was that hardwired fear of reptile predation from our earliest mammalian ancestors was responsible for a postulated panhuman herpetophobia. These days, we're all a bit wary of making claims about inborn fears, but we sure do have a whopping cultural bias.

Cheers.
-j

Thanks to my week's read of Dawkin's Greatest Show on Earth, I actually know what you mean by neotenous. (Shameful that I didn't know before, but at least I'm still learning.)

...she sings from somewhere you can't see...

Right on J,
Not that you need my endorsement, but thanks for listening. Yes, fear always works. What comes to mind when we hear the words such as "...the axis of evil..." from the leader of the free world? Must be quite scary.
Not that I want to draw comparisons, but fear works on the other side just as well when we are referred to as the "infidel" or "Satan"? Goodness and we thought the Kamikazes were fanatical for wanting to die for their emperor.
The Stalin terror and Hitler's propaganda machine through Göbbels' Aryan theme worked well for them but horribly for humanity and all its victims. Best to stop now.

Cheers,
Wernerlll